Racing with the sun, caught again in the moment when the days collapse in on themselves, and this stuff just tripping off the tongue

An insistent and persistent chittering of unspun yarns and stories assimilated, disseminated and begun

All that stuff about a niche sat in circle unbegun and unended as you melted into the tiniest parts of yourself and were consumed by the universe

As so often in some silly human outfit, an out of work god, adorned in riddles dropping little truths which of course amount to nothing as does most verse

The spirit on fire burning the reserve tanks running on vapours but feeling great as the energy is consumed and converted

One hell of an over active mind that flaps the mouth and takes over the hands just to empty a few of these ever present words 

These ones that come on all fairy like spontaneous and combustible twisting even as they are formed

wanting to live to breathe to spread to other places and pages not likening my mind for further development 

Once incubated and hatched young fledglings fly the coop to make room for new thoughts or the absence on my path to contentment 

I try to cross the bridge, from knowledge to practice from insight to experience, avoiding the brambles  hurting the little ones in sharp entanglement

As I cross through the hedgerows and gorse into yet another sunset or set off in a smiling face and a crying heart let loose in a teardrop or captured by the reflection of light in a dew drop

I take a moment to relax let go this ever charging thing and just purely let it be and stop

Just a hungry freedom loving rebel on the floor thinking of the moon or his sweetheart

An unruly guerrilla hell bent on revolution and action, forced to stop and lay down arms prostrate on the matt

Stuck here pinning it to the page again trying to clear the smog and get to the meaning trapped between the mind and the page

The teachers of the past and present and the desire to be free of this awful suffering but more important the sadness at all of that and the rage

........Stopping......

When you are still --- except the movement of your pen

and all around you is movement

Well that is when

Words like this slide easily across the page tributaries of thought

A gentle ebbing flow, as the car and street lights glow

I doubt I'll make it rich this way

Yet the today - was another of those money can't buy days

The skyline from here incredible absolutely beautiful and indescribable

I sit stunned in awe and wonder of the unknowable

The maths in the breeze

The secret language of rustling leaves

and these words dropping from my pen

When I stop to write them.

Stopping for a drink and to drop ink.

We sat down to get a drink, a ice little place called the ebb and flow. It was an imaginary pop-up 

boutique bar just recently realised in a nearby meadow. After crossing to the mirage of miracle we climbed the stiles and steps to sit amongst the toadstools Crazy daisy carpets studded forget me-nots and a lining of bluebells a pace for poets and fools, We summoned provisions  from our rucksacks of many colours, tropical punches called Capri Sunnes Whilst the other customers mainly butterflies and swallows Supped on the sunlight and buttercups and the dew from the winds, Its funny the places you can find to have a good drink if you open you heart and your mind. But you have to dare to be still, to dream and to still imagine not just think 

There are clues left in stories and scattered on pages by stray ink so many castles and dragons in the sunsets and clouds, doorways to fae in the hedgerows If only you maintain your garden plant roses and let love and curiosity grow

Loving warfare.

Haunted by a ghost appearing within the woodwork

A once friendly faces peering through the dark

I removed my armour, climbed off my steed and lay down my sword

I saw you wounded attempted to sooth you, heal you and I gave my word

That I'd be true and honest to you, no lies

Yet when you no longer liked my truth you feigned surprise

You took your dagger and went for my open back

Went from lover to savage and repeated attack

That was the best but too, it was the psychological warfare

The attacks on all aspects self and the indifferent stare

For this I was not prepared though I knew all was fair in love and war

I never expected you to try to hurt me so to make me so sore

I knew betrayal even though and the taste of pain

I implored you to stop be my ally or just let me be, Yet you persisted all the same

Then turned reality upside down said I started to attack you and it was all just some game

Truth is I'm sick of games and being played, I realise you had gone subtly insane

You've not had a drink of love for too long

Nor listened to the hearts strong song

You started turning on your friends and revered your enemies

Its the only reason I can see you'd repeatedly attack me

After I had tried and tried to help and heal you still drew in for more

So I'm sorry this time I see your hurt and broken but I won't help anymore

Learn to heal thyself and I shall light you a candle and wish you well

But I'm also burning sage and meditating and shall succumb no more to your spell

You wont pull upon my desire to help you lost my kinship

When you drilled holes in the hull of our shared ship

Words Nonsensical

A whimsical outburst struck across the page screaming to be heard.

Whirling about like dervishes a maddened herd

Swaggering and swearing as the come tumbling and weaving like drunk swines

Meandering everywhere with promiscuous meanings and poetic leanings

Of course when they lack purpose

they become free floating discourse

Dancing madly like harlequins a circus of parading psychedelic terrapins, gum drop bears spiralling stairs and rand unicorns shouting lies and truths to us

On and on they rumble tapping tunes and rhythm's into my skull. Whilst mu mind wanders and my tongue rambles

Tales of fairies of stormy knights of old gold and secrets secreted into streams and rocks. Travelling consciousness though tunnels and portals of fey covered by brambles

In copses of bluebells and there's seven hello and foxes with keys to pandoric boxes containing scented petals and magic metals. Seeing fractals and refracted patterns

Moonlit heroines fighting dragons and their own internal demons. Talking with the old gods the nose men and the ancient horsemen the planets Venus and Saturn

Of woodlice and field mice sage advice and ancient pterodactyls as we sit on the window sills trying to think. Remembering that our intentions shape what happens

The shifting states of inner emotions deep blue and fluid souls rolling around inside us deeper than any of the world's oceans

Whilst we're busy cooking with mad gypsy love healers unafraid to fight without gloves if needed. Dancing round the fire wired on our home brewed potions

We head for healing words thoughts and actions. Stacking up the positive resonance as we go about elucidating and illuminating the way

Friends and I trip between the realms meditating --- seeing visions. Hallucinating that we see clearly

Travelling along fuelled by moonlight, sun beams and colourful dreams we're learning to love non fearfully

What a mad place it is to be in this universe

I all this looking at one self. Can lead to abstract verse

As the self unravels

Meaning travels

Dead Men's cigarettes.

Dead men's cigarettes and we choke on the bitter regrets of ourselves

Not sure if we breathe to live or because it is what we’ve always done

Ones been lit and the flame is glowing, each puff and the cancer is growing

But it feels good or necessary they got us young and cool when death seemed long away

The consequences for the future seemed so long away that it wouldn't matter

The smoke curls and we spin yarns we made a choice, we chose to do this

To make each inward breath a little burning death wish

An affront to our remarkable system our major pumps and motors greased in gunk

Yeah cos we so cool so film noire, so debonair we would pay to breathe in rancid air

(Poem written after coughing up red sputum suffering pneumonia and pleurisy in NHS respiratory ward).

The wearied giant slayer.

I want to tell you all my story. Of being a weary tiresome hero on an epic quest.

I've not yet finished, I've not yet won, but I'm trying my best I declare it by my actions I attest

I have come so far and fought so hard I have seen and done so much

That I no longer believe in certain things like my old concept of injustice or luck

You see I now see life is a test a quest, a challenge and that means you will find tribulations ever near

There's no legitimate reason to think the last time you wept was your last shed tear last doubt or fear

Pain misunderstanding and suffering are human companions ever here that is my understanding
Like your shadow they pursue you echoing the light within you one is dependent on the other
The leaf does not move without the breeze writing requires a blank sheet for the forms to cover

Just as crystal clear skies can suddenly be filled and disrupted by storm clouds and thunder and lightning
Just as suddenly they can be superceded by crystal clear calmness the heat removed by beautiful stillness and cool soulful calm that is lightening

The same as up there in the heavens with the shifting and changing, as here down on earth for us all

I have been on a long journey heading for freedom

I don't quest for heaven or treasure I already know I exist in a miraculous Kingdom

To even exist and draw breathe against all odds

Is better for me than any treasures of the God's

On this quest of mine I need to defeat the giants
I am the small one trying to defeat that which has left my people and lands sore

I've been studying and learnt many things about giants. We all know that they are big and oftentimes quite scary.

That they eat people up and spit out their bones, they get angry they break things and drive people from their homes

Yet us humans and giants we go way back they live in many of our words, part of our human history

Where people have gone wrong is to see giants as creature's in and of themselves this is a fatal mistake

We are the creators of giants they are real and made up of our own emotional landscape make no mistake

It is failing to acknowledge this, that is the way they get to be so big and scary and become impossible to really escape

So to defeat a giant is no easy task if you slay one it returns as it's part of you

There are two methods for those of us in the know

The best method is to befriend then make peace and reach understanding move around each other learn to co-exist

The second less successful method is to destroy the giant or leave where it lives remove it or you

But in this second way

Your liable to have giant issues in another day

See if giants are made from our minds and emotion

The only way to be rid of it is to be rid of self not a very clever notion

For no matter where you run to or you hide

You will always find yourself and your mind

Even if you reach the most distant parts of the earth and the deepest chasms within the sea land upon the untrod shores of furthest land

At best you will have travelled from the giants feet to its hands

So the journey I now take is much further than the reaches of outer space

I'm heading inwards nowadays to map out inner space

The longest journey as taken by the Sioux

Is to travel within oneself and fond the real you

That is where to find the heroes with all the keys

The weapons to destroy or the items to break the curses enchanted potions or golden bees

The thing that is needed to complete the quest

Is the you trapped inside you. Who could have guessed

The answers not in far away lands

It's always inside our own hands

The shortest distance between two points is always a straight line

So I've begun walking that way on this giant pacifying quest of mine

I'm walking the longest path I could find from my heart up to my mind

Seeking the balm to calm this raging behemoth. Whose been terrorising me and friends of mine

Now I know that I'm just as responsible for this heroes losing his sense of self importance as I get more reasonable with age

Travelling living and learning moving from place to place and page to page

I know now that the monsters I want sought to vanquish

Are but reflections of my own and others anguish

I'm listening closer to my heart beat and my own internal rhythm

Seeking answers from it. My own mantra, song, hymn or psalm to bust this prism and destructive prison

To calm the monsters both around me and within me to soothe them not quell them

Once I've reached calm stopped all this fighting. I will have no more quarrels with them

For when I can hold the calm and stillness I am partly them I just don't wish to manifest them

I know I'll be free from my illness
Escaping Maya siting in genuine realness

No longer shall I feel hunger, anger, hate, defensiveness or lust

I'll have peace and freedom held in trust I will be the hero just

For once I win this battle with my self's darker side

Light will be able to fill the space the dark void within and light can move in and reside

All around me can be restored and illuminated

Once my heart releases it's song and has resonated

For with Love's song

The curse is undone

Storm clouds will no longer blacken the skies

My friends no longer will let out hurt cries

The beasts of malice will be replaced by creatures of light angel faced

Peace will fill me and the world all around shall be blessed

So come here giant shake my hand

Let us stop terrorising the land

Our fighting is killing us

Let's have peace at last our quests will be fulfilled

There is room on earth for both of us.

Sandy symbols.

Today I went to speak with the sea

I went up to its shoreline and let it come to me

It whispered things as it always does but I couldn't understand

So I left it some cryptic symbols to decipher when it strips them from the sand

Bee Better.

Busy bumble bee visiting upon the flowers

Do you worry about those corporate powers?

Who'd turn your meadow to landfill

Posion the soil and make you ill

Is that why you buzz so angrily

To draw attention to their folly

A productive community member

Producing honey as a reminder

That the product of our lives should be sweetness

Not all this pain based on greed sown sadness

I wish we were taught to revere honey

Our world is dying as most prefer money

Election June 2017.

So you have a choice to make a mark

Make one choice, its only a tiny mark

Thats needed just a little x in a box

You can choose the one who has an allottment or the one that wants to kill fox

The one who seems honest to actually care

Or the one practicing Maggies cold stare.

Just one little x to make a mark and draw a line

Time to reel on the madness, turn back the tide

But maybe your still not convinced you think hes a terroist sympathiser

You dont remember thats she is a padeophile protector

That she couldnt pass a lie detector shes that gang from the wizard of oz

No heart no brains and no courage sell pit magician cheap tricks just tosh

Hunt rhymes with come on join in....

Go on have a guess its a private part

The party of shysters the low tax family noticed your bank accounts thin?

Debts trebled lies they peddled

Austerity and peoples lives riddled

With injusticea, drs diagnosed kids with scurvy

But you still arent sure if that Corbyn is worthy

Of a chance though he has won his seat over and over

Never asked a young child or the elderly to literally or metaphorically bendover

Maybe you think window tax is a progressive policy

Put some more cash on the coffers sit watching tv blind to the misery

Well Ive done my best to illustrate the choice you have

Vote for yet more lies, fat cats and cuts, NHS too big to save

Just sell it to branson

So grandmas held to ransom

Shes got the dementia

So drop the pretence yeah

She wont mark the little box

So she may as well be a fox

Let toffs in red coats have their sport

But on the 8th of june give it a little thought

As we will all feel the echoes of what you do or dont put in that little box

Be we rich man poor man or confused little fox

Circular thinking.

So I sat thinking of all the circles the rings the patterns

The loops in a song the ripples in a pond and the rings of Saturn's

I was thinking cyclical

Life can make you cynical

If your cynical can you trust in truth

Will you always need a mountain of proof?

To see what is already now right here

There's a you free of Dukkah and fear

Or will you be caught in illusion

Suffering is the minds confusion

There's all this talk of outer space

True travellers walk the inner space

The longest journey is from a heart to a mind

Along the way realities are redefined

Shaped by the beat within

Your own inner rythm

The beat goes on

The beat is ohhm aum ohhm

Your already a perfect little miracle of life

Within nothing and outer strife

You exist what freedom to be aware

To feel to live to be here

The wheels of dharma the cycle of reincarnation

The life cycle even agricultural crop rotation

The circular interpeters saw the key to creation

Is the circle the nothing where one goes in meditation

Movement and stillness seeking balance

Keys to happiness you have your evidence

If you don't believe me let us see if you can escape the circular motion

Or will you just get dragged in going round and round like a giant pulled the plug on the ocean.

One Fine day.

Moon and star align against a dark clear back drop, from here at this window sill

Smoke curls as the days day's events unfurl this candles lit both ends still

Burning bright into the night to raise upon the dawn rise

Much laughter has been had adventures and laughter through childish eyes

Rides at the fair and lots of treats stomping through the landscapes

Wearing our wellies and armed with flasks full of chocolate silly hats and capes

Sand dancing across the dunes rattling gently as the moments passes

Going on little jaunts to places unknown making cakes and sweet mollases

Sharing out the treasure shiny marbles big and small a tiny car and a poetry book

A little look a helping hand a funny joke or quick witted jest a knowing look

This is what I'm writing in my little book another page of fun and freedom

We do the work we make the effort then we play and enjoy our Eden

Lost the Path.

Would that, the world could just let me be

Stop forcing me to react, making demands of me

Would that, I could truly live my philosophy

Be free, or at least friendly with the shadowy parts of me

Could put aside my nagging mind, my bragging ego

Throw away the childhood traumas, societal warps and let it go

Could be the peace filled man I ought to be

Stop manifesting the meaner parts of me

My cutting tongue my sharpened words and phrases

Seeing all the faults not remembering to be humble and give praises

Lost sight of helping fellow weary travellers immersed in my own sickness

I am sorry, I seek the way back to the path, I submit, please other alms and forgiveness.

Some words that slipped from the stream.

Upside down and inside out

Jumped up and mixed about

We spread ourselves across the years

Then tried to burn away all the old fears

Sat in stillness for a while

My journey widens mile by mile

Retold line by line and tale by tale

Just being never seems to fail

I've been wounded yes it's true

I've definitely felt both black n blue

Been consumed by deepest darkness pushed right down

Lost my breathe and under immense pressure begun to drown

Caught up in the currents and lost autonomy

Made choices that hurt botg those I love and me

Tears and salt streamed across my cheek

When I lost it and had to find the peace I seek

Forgot the lessons I had learnt the truths of self

How to be free of negativity and poor mental health

The joyous times melting into the sunset

Streaming into the stars and enhancing my mindset

Listening to the tales of others wrapped in wooly covers

Being content with what I have and having enough to give others

Being aware I'm part of this eternal stream

Of lovers, sufi adventurers and those whom dream

We learnt to change reality, shake it up a little free up

Some of the hidden magic, gather up the bits of luck

Witnessing tiny miracles everywhere, following strange paths here and there

So I'm not sure where this is going or where it even started but thanks so much for popping by

Let us both leave this text can you hear the call of new adventures for you and I ?

Peaceful warrior wounded healer.

Sick of being this peaceful warrior only fighting for others not my self

But at the same time I'm loving, want to by instinct do what's right

Be open and caring, despite all the wounds and the damaged health

Which is why I always end up getting stuck in this eternal fight

Dark vs light a poet said a light song doesnt sing on a smiling day but waits till the darkness consumes

For that is when a song of light is needed when the black is deepest and the starkness blooms

I'm still flickering now having burnt against so much I'm running out of wick

I need to be tended to for a while as my hearth is damaged from overuse and neglect

Now smoke is billowing from my cracks and the sparks are flying erratic

Damned if you do and damned is you don't trapped Miltonic hapless romantic

Caught in feeling feelings being authentic in need of anaesthesia

Startled after too much meditation by the brightness of flowers

Or the fact that though I follow them by necessity there are no hours

It's the only way I cope with the burden of the sadness I feel

To know that the moments pass and no matter what beauty and kindness are real

Today I gave the last drink to a lady who'd lived many years

Been doing what I can for people who are sick confused laboured by the hours

I dont have any super power's. So it's just doing my best

Helping people to get by convalesce or rest

Still waiting on a little bit of care and attention selfishly for me

I crave some normal chilled out living plain boring stabiliity

Niche.

Travelling the earthly landscapes crossing between places between night and day

Between the states of being beyond knowing beyond seeing this is the way

Make use of awareness

Harness the conciousness

Seeking the light the loving kindness

The interconnected escape duality in oneness

I'm getting closer I can feel it almost taste it

As I do nothing just stop here and learn to sit

To breathe with ease

Become the breeze

The roads travelled

Mysteries unravelled

Some paths are physical

Others meta physical

Neural networks snaptic highways phrenological pathways

Traversed by soothsayers truth sayers prophets poets and sufis

Sailed in a teardrop on the lingering midnight flowers scent

Removed from the forward ebbing tides of time within the moment

Magic untapped in the natural beauty of tiny things

The whistling of the trees as the wind shakes and sings

The patter of rain on the window and asphalt

The chatter of birdsong the taste of oceanic salt

Sat within a niche suspended

Within a circle unbegun and unended

Falling for the darkness.

This is not just s poem its s question.
What does one do.?

When the ones one loved keep falling down the rabbit hole

Entering the shadows the realm of madcaps and hatters

Leaving me to tend to all the mundane earthly matters

I meet them in my reality, then they be like I've got to go

I know that it's their personal journey through wonderland. But letting them go pulls my soul.

I have to admit I kind of resent it. I fall for the person they bind me to them

Then they decide the world I live in is not enough for them

The one I chose as eternal companion has yet again left me completely alone

As they'd rather be talking with statues.

Florid imagination over saner views.

Or perhaps now they are preoccupied with who's been tapping the phone

Don't get me wrong we live in a panopticon a prison in a literal dystopia

Brainwashed citizens with programmed distractions and trained myopia

The double speak is real check efficiency savings or reasonable doubt or fair representation your call is important to us

But I just don't see those spiders. I preferred the relationship when it was us

We shared so much in common love and trust. Yet you had your threesome with The Marquis de Sade and Jesus

To my mind you fucked up have your love to joyriders

I see the metaphorical not the literal masked riders

Now I don't see your delusions and I've been treated like shit

But I'm supposed to place it all in context of your I'll right now

So I should be calm and understanding and not have a cow

When she uses a phrase like that I'm thinking is that colloquial or does she think I'm harbouring cows

I ask do you mean am I hiding friends that are bovine

I'm none the wiser to what to think when angrily she says " stop picking beef with me you swine"

You know I do feel the dread and that existential fear

I just don't think Kafka was being literal my dear

We aren't cockroaches for real but I get the sense of alienation

I agree with Bill Bailey. "We're slaves in an insect nation."

But despite the fact money's a concept

I don't trust the government they're wicked corrupt

I'm saying the facts are there

You left the planet and I'm still here

Rooted to the ground though I've danced in the jungles of the psychotropics

Madness has been more than an academic but a very lived topic.

I miss you crazy diamonds but as I font share the delusions

I guess I'm just left here in hurt confusion.